교사다움의 무게를 견디며: 신규교사의 감정소진과 정체성 위기에 대한 자문화기술지

초록

This autoethnographic study explores the experience of a novice teacher who faced authority violations and emotional exhaustion during the first semester of teaching. Through self-reflective journals and interview transcripts, the study examines how these experiences unfold within the complex processes of emotional labor and professional identity formation. Key findings reveal the researcher conformed to expected "teacher-like" emotional norms through surface acting when responding to parental challenges, leading to severe emotional depletion. Deep acting—believing parent collaboration was essential—overlapped with surface acting, intensifying self-blame and identity confusion. Authority violations undermined the researcher's professional beliefs, eventually causing depression, lethargy, and career sustainability doubts. Although the second year of teaching brought relative stability, psychological impacts persisted, causing the teacher to perceive basic respect from parents and students as undeserved privileges rather than professional norms. The study demonstrates that early career negative experiences can distort teachers' self-perception, making it difficult to interpret positive interactions as validation of their competence. Furthermore, autoethnography proved valuable as a healing process for the researcher, contributing to understanding the complex relationship between emotional labor and identity formation during critical early teaching years.

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